Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
