I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
