I'm so fucking centered right now
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
