it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If I die, sorry about rent.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
