I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
