worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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