im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
