I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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