My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
