come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
