Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
