I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
