she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
