just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
