Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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