Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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