Taylor Swift is so right about you.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
