i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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