where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
