We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
wow bdsm is so cute
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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