I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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