what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
