hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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