That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
