Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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