Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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