I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
