It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
