Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
