That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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