I heard we made out
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
