I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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