I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
