hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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