why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
