guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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