nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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