I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
