well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
ttyl tear gas
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
