problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Small penises have feelings too.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
