I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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