And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
