remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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