can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
