everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
