I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize