I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
