you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Randomize
