Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
