I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
