I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
