Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
