hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
