I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
