You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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