Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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