I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
