Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
