Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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