I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
